About this Blog

About this Blog: Divorce is something you do, not something you are. It is not easy, but it can be funny. I know hanging on to my humor gave me hope and courage. Divorce shouldn't cramp your style. There are whole industries devoted to helping brides plan their weddings -- why shouldn't we have a style guide for divorce?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Language of Divorce: updated

Yesterday I took a hostile phone call from this guy I used to be married to and today I opened up my virtual newspaper and found this great article on faking a thick skin. Many of the techniques (some might call them tactics) work in relationships that have broken up or are in a current or post-divorce phase. The main message: know that you are being baited. Know that you are almost always being bated with someone that you used to be married to. It doesn't matter if they are calling to say Merry Christmas, one thing the person always looks for is evidence that the divorce was the right thing, validation for whatever better person they (or you) think they are now, as a result. So if you lose your temper or say something mean, it just takes you down a notch, where they want you.

So keep your shoulders back, hold your head up, keep your tone of voice level and slow. Smile at whatever they tell you. Agree with them, but don't change your position. Here's the article -
The Faker: How to fake a thick skin - chicagotribune.com

Have a great and stress free holiday. You're already one step there, since the person you used to be married to won't be messing it up for you.


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